Friday, February 6, 2009

25

I've been reading a lot of lists on Facebook and even found a Facebook -inspired list on the Dodie Bellamy blog. 25 facts and statements about myself:

1. I'm a bit of a namedropper ( see above - and below}
2. I am lefthanded and not at all ambidextrous. My right hand is a stupid but attractive appendage that does all the heavy lifting and carrying.
3. The first time I ejaculated, I thought I had some kind of disease.
4. Deranged, even schizoid people are drawn to me.
5. I wish I knew the reason for #4.
6. Although I think she is not bursting with ideas and is in many ways an artistic coward, I have seen Laurie Anderson perform in seven different venues.
7. Bowling is not part of my skill set.
8. I've got a never ending love for you, whoever you are.
9. All my dreams are in widescreen format.
10. In 1976 I delayed Ann Beattie's supper.
11. What did I tell you? Larry McMurtry used to hide when he saw me crossing M St. heading toward Booked Up.
12. I have never written anything that could be described as journalism. However, you could call it reportage.
13. I have mixed beer and Campari and survived, but not without sustaining neural damage.
14. When I am alone, I do not talk to myself. Peace and quiet is more important than "vocalizing the interior monologue."
15. Gus van Sant's Gerry is a fuck you to the pseuds and poseurs.
16. The first time I had a dry orgasm I thought I was dying.
17. I lent my best friend three Dennis Cooper books. He used them to prop up his weights bench. He read at least one of them but he can't remember which one.
18. The last Woody Allen movie I saw in the theatre was Small Time Crooks. I fell asleep.
I also fell asleep during The Matrix Reloaded.
19. In Ottowa I was twice accosted by prostitutes, one male, one apparently female.
20. A barroom discussion about Edgar Allan Poe and necrophilia almost came to blows.
21. My grandmother bought Dale Cooper's FBI memoir not realizing it was a television tie-in. Waldenbooks wouldn't let her return or exchange it.
22. I like brie on cheeseburgers.
23. I'd blog daily if all I had to do was complile stupid lists.
24. All my sex partners have been human or at least humanoid.
25. I have no animal phobias.

7 comments:

Joe Masse said...

That's the most esoteric blog entry I've ever read.

(Verification word: scrotio, heh, one of the characters that didn't make it into Two Gentlemen of Verona)

morticia addams 7 said...

I'd have to work on 25 things about me. I'm not sure i'd wish to share so many because most of them aren't very good. LOL

sammy.the.k said...

thanks for stopping by, nice musical taste

Will Decker said...

David,
Yes those early ejaculating experiences. Mine was much more pleasant. One night when we were 12 or so on a back yard campout my friend Bill said this is what we told you we were going to show you. It actually took a couple of months before anything came out. The vision of that night is making me smile right now: 4 boys in Ronnie's dark backyard wanking away in our sleeping bags on the army cots Ronnie’s dad brought bought from the Army Surplus Store next to the shed where his dad stored the Mauser he took from a dead German in WWII France.

I just ordered "Gerry" -- Learning continues forward.
Will

kier said...

16 and 3 are sweet and a little sad. i've never bowled in my life. anyway, i'm stealing this idea for my blog, i'll link to you. x

Thomas Moronic said...

21 made me feel really sad.

Anonymous said...

thanks for your comment.
all sketches are most improper!
xx